I don’t have that kind of time

I’ve seen those scissor/spatula combos online, seems like a great option.

Edit: someone out there strongly disagrees

I get it. The pizza slicer pushes pepperoni and other toppings down which smushes the cheese and sauce out the size, then you have an uneven distribution of cheese/sauce. So either you have an uneven distribution of pepperoni, an uneven distribution of cheese/sauce, or you spend a great deal of time placing your pepperoni so that they’re perfectly positioned away from your cut lines.

Kinda reminds me of…